my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
