well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just invented taco cereal.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize