Ambien. No doubt about it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
