nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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