on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
