Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
