he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
