He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize