just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
