You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
