Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
