I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
