John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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