I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
