Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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