I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
