I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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