Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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