I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
