im about as happy as oj after his trial
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
