Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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