is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
