some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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