I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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