Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize