i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
