It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
