let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize