Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
