honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
