Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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