i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize