I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
