goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
