Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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