hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
