I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
