At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
