whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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