how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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