I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize