are you so shy because you have an std?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
