I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
