well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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