did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
