Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
