Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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