you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
