Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
