some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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