so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This is my gift to your gina
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
