considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
