the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
