Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
