Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize