So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
