i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
