you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
