why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize