she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
