Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
