An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
