Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
