At least make sure they are 18
Why
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
