Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
