apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
