Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
