I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
