Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
"it" just moved
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
