I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
it's like heaven, but drunker
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
