end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize